Have you ever had an image of yourself stranded in a desert? What was your thought process? Was it desperate? Was it fearful? Maybe curious? Now imagine yourself in the same place, but with the knowledge of being saved before it was too late? That is a way I view my own life. I don't know what I’m doing, I don't know what tomorrow holds, I might be thriving, or struggling right now, but all I know and all I can do right now is put my faith in my rescuer. I know I don’t have it all figured out though. How hard is it for us to keep this cycle an everyday thing? How much anxiety do we have for the future? About our present situations? Why? Don’t we know who our God is? Why do we choose not to trust in Him with our everything?
Oh, how I wish my faith was bigger in Him than the world around me. How many times have we denied the death of our Savior, saying to him with blood falling from His crown of thorns “don’t worry, I love you, but I trust myself more with the worries of my life than I do you.” Jesus had so much anxiety in the garden that He sweat blood. I see that anxiety is something we as humans deal with, but if Jesus had anxiety because of what He had to go through for us in the next 24 hours, which He knew had to happen for us to go into His Fathers Kingdom. How much more anxiety should we have for the next 24 hours when we don’t even know what's going to happen? Don’t we call ourselves sons/daughters of God? How much more will he clothe us? Jesus said to Thomas “Blessed are those who have not seen, but still believe?” We say we’ve seen, but we still don't believe?
I feel like I’m in the desert, exhausted from my sin, and dehydrated from this world, but I’m still here, there’s still a purpose. My vision may be a little blurry right now, but all I can do is worship the Father with everything I have, and try to not live the life I’ve been trying to live. The life of living on a tightrope, trying so hard not to fall off just so I can say to myself “good job Gabriel, your perfection has brought you closer to Christ.” When will we realize that His blood is sufficient, when will we truly realize our entitlement is not going to get us anywhere with the Father. I want only to have the title of “son of God”, so when I am lost and dry in the desert, I only will look at the only thing I have, which is my Father.
Jesus says “if anyone comes to me and does HATES his father and mother, and even himself, he CANNOT be my disciple.” I am learning how to love Christ in a way that doesn’t even come close in comparison to how I love my own people or even my own self. And as I say that, I don’t want anyone of you to get an idea that I do not like or love my parents/friends, I very much love each and every one of them, I’ve just learned that once I found this love that I cannot give to anyone else but the righteous king. But through the love I saw through Christ, I have also found new love for people in my life that is far better than the one I had before that righteous love came into my life. I am saying this as a way that, yes even though we go through wilderness’ and valleys, and deserts, I want my substance to be only in the living water, and my hope built on nothing but Jesus, my righteous king.
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