Now that camp month is over I feel like I can talk about my experience and just the personal growth those few weeks pushed me in. At the two camps we went to each of my experiences pushed me in different ways. At FaHoLo we got to take on the task as Rec Staff, that for me was a lot of fun but also hard because I was the one calling the shots when it came to the games. I had to trust myself to make those decisions and be confident in the decisions I was making. I think that experience was just the prep for Lost Valley camp where I was a group leader.
Now there’s a reason I’ve avoided youth ministry as much as possible, teenagers scare me and the fact that I’m not much older then them. How can I be their leader? I absolutely did not realize my heart for these kids though. I had so much anxiety going into the first day, but it ended up being one of my best camp experiences.
It is really crazy to me how much I ended up getting out of it, the fact that I wasn’t there to get something out of it, I was there to help my girls get something out of it. Not only did I get filled with the Holy Spirit for the first time, but I was constantly getting words of wisdom for my girls, myself and even the FCA boys (which is not something that normally happens for me)!
One of my girls Emily on the second night asked me “what does laying things down before the Lord look like? Like how do you do that?” For her she was talking about her anxiety and it opened up such a good conversation about what I looks like. On the second night one of the big moments for me was Austin telling me “God does not use the qualified, he uses the unqualified” and then the speaker preached on that exact thing the next day.
Being qualified in wherever I go in life is not the point and I’m having to remind myself of this everyday. Letting God use my lacking, that is what I want. I have a tendency to always be looking at the next thing and making a plan but I’m learning to be where my feet are. Taking life day by day is okay and I can have dreams but don’t need to have it all figured out.