Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom. Song of Solomon 2:15 NIV
FCA’s focus is to develop character that will sustain the giftings and callings God has given us. For me I understand a great depth and weight of the calling God has on me, which is why I think I’ve been able to thrive in FCA. I know he’s called me to be a leader, especially in FCA as a second year; not only that but I recognize God has given me the abilities and giftings to do so. When I look at the responsibilities in my own strength I become overwhelmed easily. Before I started Second Year, I quickly realized I was in over my head and I knew I couldn’t do it on my own; I’d have to rely on God to show me how. Yet somehow, I still find myself striving….But why?
The answer to that question might be very simple or it might have several different facets. Let’s find out! I know whatever it was, it was triggered by my increased fullness in schedule, being entrusted with more in regards to leadership in FCA, as well as unknown next steps after 2nd Year. Attempting to proceed in my own strength meant a lack of reliance on God, not abiding in Him. Getting so caught up with doing for God that I was forgetting to just be with Him. (Side note, my doing for God without God is a pretty crappy job lol.) This led to a state of unrest because I felt I was not measuring up. I would end up feeling unworthy to do the very things God has called me to do. This unworthiness breaded feelings of shame and isolation, which in fact was crippling me from championing this season. These feelings are so subtle at first.
The enemy doesn’t have to discredit everything God has said or done in order for us to fall into his traps. He just has to sneak one subtle lie that sometimes is almost unnoticeable that can lead to detrimental effects. PJ refers a lot to Songs of Solomon 2:15 “The little foxes that ruin the vineyards.” I think the worst part of these foxes or “lies” was that it made me feel less than who God has made me to be. The longer the enemy can keep me from believing in the identity God has given me the longer I sit helpless, stuck and alone. The key is to not sit in it!
Hear the Truth, Speak the Truth, Live the Truth!
The Bible is a weapon given to us to combat the enemy (Ephesians 6:17)! The more I know the truth hidden in the Word of God, the easier it is for me to identify the subtle foxes, the lies that try to sneak it’s way into my birthright and inheritance as a Son of God. Whenever shame tries to attach itself to me I can say to it “Nuh uh, I’m covered by the blood of Jesus and I’m living in the grace He’s given me, so I don’t have to live in shame or feel unworthy, because I am righteous in His sight.” When I’m feeling burdened by expectations put on by myself or if I’ve grown weary, I can remember Matthew 11:28-30 or Galatians 6:9. This is an active effort in taking my thoughts captive and making it obedient to Christ.
So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” John 8:31-32 ESV
God’s word says it so plainly and perfectly, I seriously encourage you to meditate on that scripture, and ask God for yourself what he means by truth bringing freedom. That act of seeking truth and holding to it is what will bring freedom.